Articles
Article - workingmother.com - Nov 2009
CLICK HERE for published article by M.R. Kylis
Time Is Money - Teaching Kids About Money Angela Amico Olchaskey thought she could use the economic crisis as a springboard to educate her daughter, Kiley, 9, about money, but her plan hasn’t worked out so well. “I’m finding it very hard,” admits the Manchester, NJ, legal secretary. “Mainly because I have spending issues of my own.” Angela admits that she likes to shop—a lot. So much, in fact, that when she recently took her daughter to see Confessions of a Shopaholic, Kiley turned to her as they left the theater and asked, “Mommy, are you going to have to sell all your Burberry bags?” Angela asked why, and Kiley responded, “Because you’re a shopaholic, too.” Angela was surprised—and stymied. Was it too late for her to teach Kiley better financial habits since she had flunked the role model test? The good news is that it’s never too late to start a conversation about money with your kids, says Diane Lang, an adjunct professor in psychology at Montclair State University in New Jersey. And if you need to work on your own spending habits, you can suggest you learn how to do this together. “Kids get used to certain habits,” she says. “They might be used to getting whatever they want when it comes to toys and clothes, but you can modify that situation at any time.” She suggests parents be honest with their children about the need to economize and help them get involved in the family’s savings efforts.“Take baby steps with the changes,” Lang says. “For example, tell your kids they can take one afterschool class instead of two, and let them pick the class. Don’t cut out all afterschool programs.” Lang helps her own daughter, Lauren, 6, get involved with the family’s shopping and spending. “I’ve taught her about money and options,” she says. Lauren helps her mom write the grocery list, cut coupons and even pick out the sale items. Setting the right example is key, so work on being a strong role model. “Children learn through observation,” Lang says. “As a parent, you don’t want to tell your child one thing and do the opposite. This sends mixed signals.” If you’re tired of feeling like an ATM, perpetually shelling out money for snacks, CDs, school dances and other extras, start by taking a look at your own spending habits. Next, follow these easy steps to help children of all ages learn to save, become more independent and discover creative ways to generate income.
Give them an allowance.
If you decide to pay your child an allowance, experts recommend you consider several factors, including your child’s age, your family’s income and what the allowance will cover. Using a rule of thumb (such as $1 per each year of age) to set the amount is only a starting point. An allowance of $10 per week may be okay for a 10-year-old, but $15 a week may not be enough for a 15-year-old. You also need to make some realistic judgments about how much money your kids will need as they get older. Maribea Berry, a readiness manager in Palo Alto, CA, asks her teenage daughters, Elizabeth, 16, and Katherine XX, to use their allowance to subsidize birthday presents for their friends and special items for themselves. “They earn an allowance for helping around the house and working as babysitters and pet sitters,” Maribea says. She sets a limit of $15 that she will pay for a friend’s birthday gift. “If they find something that costs more, they must pitch in the extra money for the gift. So far they’ve been willing to do this.” Kristy Jackson, a career counselor in Sioux Falls, SD, gives her sons, Forrest, 7, and Cameron, 5, an allowance for doing chores like helping in the yard and big cleaning projects. But she also has them do some tasks without payment. “The chores they do for free include recycling, putting away dishes, putting away their laundry and feeding our pets,” Kristy says. “We’re hoping this helps them realize that families need to work together and that each member of the family contributes to maintaining a nice place to live.”
Explain self-control.
Gayle Flynn uses a back-to-school budget for clothes to help her younger children, Shannon, 11, and Elizabeth, 9, learn to set limits. Gayle, an executive director for business analysis at Cenduit in Cary, NC, assigns each child a budget and lets her decide what clothes to buy within the set amount. “It’s fantastic to see them looking for sales to get more for their money,” Gayle says. Just as important as working within a budget is learning about self-control, says Melissa Martinez, an attorney in Atlanta. She pays her daughters, Ana Sofia, 10, and Isabel, 9, for certain household chores, and each one has a piggy bank, an education fund and a savings account. “Even if we can afford an item but we think it’s too pricey or they don’t need it, we explain that not buying this item will allow us to use the money to buy something we actually need or for our next family vacation,” Melissa says. “Self-control works in every aspect of our lives—nutrition, weight control and especially finances.”
Help them save.  There are other ways your kids can save money beyond stashing it in piggy banks and shopping smart. When Elizabeth Yano, a research scientist and professor in Valley Glen, CA, thought that her three sons were rushing out to spend the cash gifts they received, she had an idea. “I told them I’d match whatever amount of money that they put into a savings account,” she says. Her oldest son, Michael, then 14, came out of his room with about $60 he’d squirreled away. David, then 11, offered up only pennies. But her youngest, Steven, then 8, surprised everyone when he emerged from his room with an impressive $450. “His brothers were speechless,” Elizabeth recalls. “Steven couldn’t stop grinning as he explained that he’d saved every dollar he’d ever received.” Given the amount her enterprising kids had stowed away, Elizabeth says, she decided to wait a couple of years before making the same offer again. Still, “their savings habits improved. And not surprisingly, Steven, who’s now fifteen, has a CD account that exceeds both his brothers’ accounts.” Showing your children their bank statements can go a long way toward teaching them about how fast savings can grow, says Rebecca Parks, a diversified independent dealer service department specialist with the Sherwin-Williams Company in Wickliffe, OH. She makes sure her 8-year-old son, Brandon, sees proof that his bank balance is increasing. “He’s empowered by depositing his own money from the allowance he earns and cash gifts,” she says. “And when I show Brandon his statements each month, he can see how his money starts to accumulate and how beneficial this process can be for him in the long run. He has big goals and big dreams.” As the CEO of Lone Star Screening in Bedford, TX, Johnette Van Eeden knew more than your average parent about profits and losses and how to reach for goals. That’s why she taught her kids to save up their money from an early age, helping Danielle, now 19, and Andre, now 18, open bank accounts. “We taught them how to record transactions in a ledger, and later on an Excel spreadsheet, to track their balances,” she says. Johnette believes the lessons paid off. Danielle, now in college, sometimes pays for her friends to go to the movies and for snacks. “That’s because she’s the only one who’s saved up any money,” Johnette says proudly. “I’m hoping that Andre, who just started college this fall, does as well.”
Encourage creative thinking.
The promise that your kids will get something they really want can be a great motivator. Carmen Kenrich, an executive health-care recruiter in Winchester, MA, encourages her eldest daughter, Taylor, 8, to justify in writing items she wants her parents to buy her. “I had her write in four sentences why we should sign her up for tennis and buy her a racket,” says Carmen, whose younger kids, Trace, 5, and Tatum, will be expected to follow suit in a couple of years. “It was a great exercise, Taylor’s first lesson about money and expressing what she wants and needs.” When Rita Marie Gordon’s 9-yearold, Ben, wanted to start a soda-stand (think the next step in lemonade stands), she encouraged him and taught him some finance lessons along the way. The Fort Collins, CO, photographer loaned her son $50 in “seed money” for his initial investment of soda and ice. “It was an interest-free loan for four weeks only,” Rita says. “He protested until I explained to him that by loaning him my money, I was unable to invest it somewhere else and earn interest on it.” By the end of his second week in business, Ben had paid his mom back. “We lived in a neighborhood with lots of new construction going on,” Rita recalls. “He rode his bike around with his red Radio Flyer wagon hitched to the back, carrying my camping cooler filled with ice and cans of soda to sell to the workers on the various construction sites.” Rita explained the concept of tracking inventory, so Ben wouldn’t miss a sale by being sold out of a popular brand. “By counting the cans he took out and what he returned with, he learned what and how much he needed to stock,” she says. “He learned how to make change and be sure he had enough with him.” Ben netted $7 to $13 a day, which he considered big bucks. “Both my parents were self-employed, so I grew up experiencing entrepreneurship as a way of life,” Rita says.
Teach them to give back.
Share, save and spend is the approach Donna Collins Williams of Redwood City, CA, a nurse researcher at Stanford Cancer Center, teaches her kids when it comes to what to do with their allowance. It’s an approach she picked up from a lecture by financial guru Nathan Dungan, founder of Share Save Spend, a Minneapolis-based organization that advises young people and adults on finances. Donna started giving daughters Kathryn, 8, and Lauren, 6, an allowance at age 5, paying them $1 per year of age. Their required chores include putting dirty clothes in a hamper, loading the dishwasher and helping care for their pets. One third of their allowance they can spend on small purchases; one third they save for gifts or place in a savings account. The final third they give to charity. “They choose a charity that they would like to give to,” Donna says. “We support the charity by contributing as a lump sum one third of their allowance, which they’ve usually saved up until Christmas.” Websites such as Kiva.org or DonorsChoose.org can help your kids find charities they feel are meaningful. When her daughters each turn 10, Donna plans to introduce the fourth arm of the strategy, which is to invest. “It’s time we stop spoiling our kids,” says Dungan, author of Prodigal Sons and Material Girls. His family-finance website, ShareSaveSpend.com, offers age-appropriate toys, games and lessons that can enrich your child’s understanding of money.
Article - mommytrackd.com - Apr 10 2008
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The Internal War Women Wage with Themselves
Article - expectantmothersguide.com - Feb 2008
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Reentering the Workforce after Having Children
Article - momsonthemove.com - Feb 2008
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Moms Going Back To College - The On-line Route
Article - mommytalk.com - Jan 10 2008
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Working Moms - Back To Work
Article - ifood.tv - April 26 2007
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Managing Stress We all feel it. We live with stress almost everyday of our lives. Stress has become part of our fast paced culture here in the tri-state area. Most people feel stress but don't know exactly what it is. So, here it is: *Stress is an event or a series of events that leads to a strain in your life which can lead to Physical and/or psychological health problems. The truth is we can't live a stress free life but we can manage our stress to live a healthy lifestyle. I always get asked the question - Is there such a thing as good stress? The answer is yes. Stress provides us with the necessary motivation to strive for our best, to reach our full potential. A certain amount of stress can help you reach your goals and help you solve problems. Almost every day we deal with frustrations, conflicts, pressures and change. Some days have more stress then others. We can also have positive changes that can add stress to our lives. An example woould be getting a promotion/raise at your job. Your excited and deserving of your new position but now you have more pressure and responsibilities. Your new position can cause you to be happy and fearful all at the same time. If stress continues for months you could start to feel the effects of stress both physically and psychologically. Here are some symptoms of severe and/or chronic stress: Loneliness, Insecurity, Loss of focus, concentration and memory, Fatigue, Trouble sleeping, Mood swings and irritability and Loss of appetite. If you are having some of these symptoms, then you should start listening to your body. We recieve these signs from our body. It's a sign to let us know "something is wrong, you need to make changes". If you feel it's time to make a change, here are some tips to help: 1. Mind - Body connection - listen to your body. 2. Figure out why you are having so much stress in your life? What is the reason behind your stress? Be honest with yourself. 3. How can you make change(s) in your life that will make you feel better? 4. Are you expectations realistic? Are you expecting perfection? It's important to always listen to your body and trust your instincts. Your body knows when it needs a break- take it!
Article - ifood.tv - March 18 2007
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The Baby Blues Having a baby is a very exciting time for most expecting moms but after the baby is born, some women will start to have mood swings, feel sad, alone, afraid and unloved. You could have a loss of appetite or have difficulty sleeping. If you are a new mom and have any of these symptoms, you have what we call the baby blues. These symtoms start 3-5 days after delivery and can last up to two weeks. The good news: It's a normal part of being a new mom. The symptoms go away on their own. They are mild and do not interfere with caring for your baby. If you feel your symptoms are worse and last longer then two weeks, then you could have postpartum depression. Postpartum could occur a day or so after having the baby or several weeks to months later. Each woman is different. Postpartum is a form of depression that can be treated with therapy, support groups and anti-depressants. Some symptoms of postpartum depression: Inability to be social or have fun, Trouble sleeping,
Feelings of inadequacy to be a parent, Guilt, Increased crying, Feelings of worthlessness, Feeling irritable and anxious, Thoughts of hurting yourself or hurting the baby. The exact cause of postpartum is unknown. We do know that postpartum is more likely if you have: A difficult marriage, Little or no support, Financial worries, Previous depression, What to do? Get help immediately. Seek professional counseling. Ask for help - form a support system of family and friends who can help with the baby and household chores. Journal - write down your feelings. Don't try to be "Supermom". Be honest with yourself, you can't do everything. Make time for yourself- even if it's 10-15 minutes a day. Those 15 minutes can make a big difference in your day. Take care of yourself - make sure you eat, sleep and exercise properly.
Article - weightlossbuddy.com - March 18 2007
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Life Coaching Techniques - Procrastination We are all guilty of it at one time or another, but if you realize that you are procrastinating more often than you are getting things done, it is time to work on your problem. Procrastination can lead to self-doubt, guilt, depression and chronic procrastination. Why we procrastinate: 1. Poor time management. Are you unsure of your goals or priorities? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you afraid to say, “No”? When you are overwhelmed or not managing your time wisely, it’s easy to put off tasks or spend time doing things that are not a priority. 2. Do you have difficulty focusing? When you sit down to work or study, do you find yourself daydreaming? Falling asleep, etc? 3. Fear/anxiety. Are you afraid of failure? Rejection or success? Do you spend more time worrying or asking, “What if”? 4. Low self-esteem. Are you constantly thinking negative thoughts such as: “I’m a failure; I can’t succeed in anything. I’ll never lose weight.” The negativity can stop you from getting things done. 5. Personal problems. Examples: breakup or divorce, financial difficulties, problems with family or friends. 6. Unrealistic expectations or perfectionism. Do you believe you have to do everything 100 percent? Are you being realistic? How to overcome procrastination: 1. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself the questions above. Recognize your reasons for procrastination. 2. Figure out your short-term goals – goals for the next month. 3. Write down long-term goals: Where do you see yourself in six months? A year? Two years? 4. Write an action plan for your short-term goals that can be revised every time a goal is completed. If you need help with an action plan, ask a career counselor. It’s OK to ask for help. 5. Set priorities. 6. Use a to-do list. Write one for every day and cross off each task as it is accomplished. 7. Set realistic goals.
Article - ifood.tv - March 10 2007
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Healthy Moms We discussed keeping your kids healthy but what about moms? Well, for the next few weeks, I will dedicate this blog to Moms and keeping moms healthy. This week we will start with keeping healthy during pregnancy. A weight gain of 25 to 35 pounds is considered desirable for healthy women of normal weight. This means a pregnant woman needs about 300 more calories a day then before pregnancy. These added calories will help supply the extra energy needed. Here are some tips to eating healthy during pregnancy: 1. Make sure to get a good amount of protein (about 60 grams per day) thru lean meats, poultry and fish. Other good sources are beans, lentils, nuts, eggs and cheese. 2. Make sure calcium is part of your daily diet. Milk, yogurt and cheese are calcium rich foods. Other good sources are: Leafy vegetables, calcium fortified soymilk, OJ and some cereals. 3. Iron - your body needs additional iron as a result of increased maternal blood volume. So, here are some good food choices that are rich in iron: Red meat, fish, poultry, whole grain breads and cerals, leafy green veggies and legumes. 4. Folic acid - You have the option of taking a multivitamin that contains 400 micrograms of folic acid daily. The vitamin, in addition to eating foods rich in folic acid like leafy green veggies, citrus fruits and juices, peanuts and whole grains will give you what you need. In conclusion, food requirements during pregnancy are not that different from a normal well balanced diet. The key is variety, balance and moderation. Always remember, your diet affects your baby - EAT HEALTHY!
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